Tuesday, October 14

 
From: Jenni Hilton
Date: Oct. 7, 2003
Subject: I have one to add...


Hi - I worked at a sports marketing agency and they used "incentivize" in their presentations, much to my dismay...great web site!

Sincerely,

Jenni Hilton
Marketing Manager
NetSupport
www.netsupport-inc.com

PC Remote Control, Asset Management & Computer Lab Software
--

[ed. note: nice mix of businesses at the end there.]
posted by Red Worm 10/14/2003 10:06:53 PM

archives

Monday, September 29

 
Overfunded bubble-baby startups may (please Gawd) be a strictly 20th-century phenomenon, but buzzwords will still crop up. Our gimlet-eyed field agents are on the case:
--
From: "Ault, Rob"
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 16:31:17 -0400
To: "'teeth@buzzkiller.net'"

I saw three buzzwords today that need to be killed before they spread, so I thought I'd send them to you.

The words are

Flight,v. tr., as in "flight new commitments." The translation is "to schedule."

Flighting, gerund, as in "coordinate with John's strategy for flighting." I think "scheduling" would do just fine.

Syndicate, v. tr., as in "syndicate the plan with corporate." In the context of the original sentence, "share" with corporate would work well.

Rob Ault
posted by Red Worm 9/29/2003 10:02:22 PM

archives

Tuesday, August 12

 
HP yesterday held what it called "Big Bang 2," its launch of over 100 consumer products, most of which would have had a hard time getting mentioned on gizmodo on their own ("HP launches slightly different camera!"). The event, held far enough west on Manhattan to make the site almost unreachable except by Segway, was memorable for one thing: in the keynote, Carly Fiorina seemed to criticize HP's habit of giving its products impossible-to-remember names. When holding up the new HP Scanjet 4670 Scanner, she said something to the effect of "The 4670 will .. actually I don't like the name. I prefer to call it 'Thin Mint'..." (I had dropped my reporters pad in excitement, thus the paraphrase). She kept calling it "thin mint" in the rest of her presentation.

The nickname doesn't make much sense: the scanner is sort of thin, but is neither mint colored nor breath-freshening when chewed. Still, it is a refreshing sign that perhaps real names are coming to a world that seems to take its cues from from the IRS.

posted by eEZD 8/12/2003 09:23:52 AM

archives

we solute you

 
A grateful shout out to the Fast Company blog for pointing out a crack in our beaker. We've changed the motto to "pouring solvent on your 'solution,'" dropping the "confused," previously un-remarked-upon (and possibly previously un-viewed) "dropping the solvent in your 'solution.'" Salutations.

In our customary frenzy of blogging and linking, we couldn't help but notice that Heath Row, Fast Company's in-house Social Capitalist and blog critic, put on the rose-tinted raver shades to read yesterday's NYT piece on Fast Company by David Carr.

Carr's view:
"...Fast Company is clearly an enterprise that is staring down its own obsolescence. Since being bought in 2000 for an astounding $360 million by Gruner & Jahr USA, the American publishing division owned by Bertelsmann, Fast Company has swerved into the ditch....The number of advertising pages it carried last year were a little more than a third of the 2000 total. Newsstand sales — a good indicator of salience in the marketplace of ideas — are half of what they were in 2000. The jargon that drove the magazine — 'the brand of you' and 'social capitalist,' — seems as quaint and beside the point as the Pets.com sock puppet."

Row's evaluation of the article, posted on FC's weblog, Fast Company Now:
"the future painted by the piece looks bright."

Hm. The only notable reference to the future in Carr's piece (which makes a passing reference to "the ashes of the unfortunately named eCompany Now,") is a quote from John A. Byrne, FC's new editor, who says: "There is nothing but upside here."
posted by Red Worm 8/12/2003 12:15:18 AM

archives

Wednesday, August 6

 
Truly amazing stuff. A friend of the language (name withheld until we hear different) forwarded something intended solely for those with drops of Kool-Aid hanging from their chins. This intercepted communique was meant to remain snugly between Bain and the BK Lounge. But like a greasy patty, it slipped out and onto the buzz-sawing room floor. On the Internet, there is no five-second rule.

--
From: "jed morninducat"
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2003 09:19:57 -0500
To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
Subject: We have a winner

Bain and Company accidentally e-mailed me a PPT presentation prepared for Burger King. The first slide was a classic. Titled "Salad Strategic Objective Statement," it read:

“Burger King will leverage its Fire-Grilled core asset and cooking advantage to be a potent competitor in the salads segment beginning in 2004. Burger King will offer a portfolio of standout, break-through salads to take advantage of market trends and consumer taste shifts, and significantly boost restaurant profitability”
 
Yikes.
--

ed. note: credit to Bain for the high-brow hyphen in "break-through." And I don't know about y'all, but this is precious inside info - as soon as the market opens, I'm shorting Mickey D (NYSE: MCD) big-time.
posted by Red Worm 8/6/2003 09:09:31 PM

archives

Friday, June 13

 
On the heels of our 10/15/02 post, this just in from Adam Behar, of Avidcenter.org, a worthy institution. Mr. Behar contends that the smug and unoriginal buzz of journalists in general - and us in particular - could use a little tamping down. Bonus element: writing tips for Joel Brinkley of the NYT...
--
I really enjoy when the media create their own cliches. My favorite is,
"The announcement came on the heels of..." Broadcast and print can't live
without it; I did a "google" search for the phrase and it confirmed by
intuition: it's everywhere and, truthfully, quite embarrassing. I don't
think your ilk is even aware of it. Makes you feel sorry for the much
neglected "after." Why fall back on this cliche? It's a journalist who
doesn't have enough confidence in his own writing, senses that the words
themselves are not adequate to the job. He's selling his writing, creating
artificial drama. Sad.

And of the resignation at the NY Times? Even sadder,
because it's driven by ego and ambition. Can't let the poor intern or
stringer have a byline, because it's all about my brand. Got to keep the
illusion going. What makes me sick is that reporters--and, by the looks of
your website, you guys are no exception--are mostly motivated by an inflated
sense of self. And, I have to tell you, self-importance is just not a super
attractive quality. Oh, I'm sorry, you guys are really guardians of
democracy. I almost forgot.

I think of my brother and, even with his ph.d
and m.d., he's as modest and unassuming as they come. There's something nice
about that. Or my dad, a literary critic and retired professor, who's not
trying so hard to show the world how smart he is.

>From today's New York Times (Joel Brinkley):

"...an important step along the path toward the envisioned "road map" peace
agreement that calls for establishment of a Palestinian state by 2005."

Critique: don't adopt the administration's PR language. Call it what it is:
a plan.

"Hamas's leaders still had to work to come to agreement among themselves
before they could make an deal with Mr. Abbas."

Critique: Brinkley needs an editor or a better ghost-writer. don't need
among themselves, since it's clear that the agreement refers to Hama's
leaders.: "Hamas' leaders still had to come to agreement before they could
make a deal with Mr. Abbas."

"In any case, Hamas has agreed to cease-fires more than once before since
the latest uprising began in the fall of 2000. But they have always quickly
broken down, with each side accusing the other for rekindling the violence."

Critique: Why "for rekindling" Better: "In any case, Hamas has agreed to
cease-fires since the latest uprising began in fall 2000. But they have
always quickly broken down, with each side accusing the other of rekindling
the violence."

[end of transmission]
--
ed note: Solid points all around. Extra credit for slipping in a little PR on behalf of overachieving family members.

posted by Red Worm 6/13/2003 09:40:50 AM

archives

Tuesday, October 15

 
Rummmblings about a new buzzkiller venture afoot. Instead of just dissing everybody, we'll be giving awards! True, most of the awards will be for worst-such-and-such and for most-pointless-so-and-so, but it'll be a step in the right direction.
posted by Red Worm 10/15/2002 11:41:46 AM

archives

Thursday, August 8

 
One from Africa:

> From: Rosemary Ekosso
> Date: Mon, 5 Aug 2002 20:07:46 +0200 (CEST)
> To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
> Subject: Add Cameroon to US and Canada
>
>
> Hello!
>
> I think you should add Cameroon to your list of countries because I am right
> here in the heart of Africa with mosquitoes nipping at my ankles as I type.
>
> I am a conference interpreter, so while I hate buzzwords, I am forced to learn
> them becuse people insist on speaking like that.
>
> I'm sending mail by this means because I was unable to do so on your site. I
> suspect my server has legionnaire's disease, though I'm not quite sure.
>
> My pet hates:
>
> Good governance - it has now replaced plain old starvation as a reason for
> getting foreign aid.
>
> Interface - have even heard it used as a euphemism for intercourse of a more
> intimate kind.
>
> I tohugh I was was the only person below middle age who hated these things.
> Congratulations.
>
>
>
> Rosemary Ekosso
>
> Senior Translator/Conference Interpreter

[ed. note: Greetings, Rosemary!

It's great to hear from you, but terrible to hear that the buzzword pestilence has spread to the west coast of Africa. If only we could translate buzzwords into mosquito language and broadcast them over loudspeakers, the mosquitoes would stay away from conferences.

Thanks for the letter. ]

posted by Red Worm 8/8/2002 11:19:45 AM

archives

Monday, July 22

 
Here's a bunch of the sumbissions (sp!) we've heard recently. Chime in if you have any to add or if you think any of these folks are being a little too picky.
-----
-----
From: Lori Wilson
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 14:48:30 -0500
Subject: submission

How about "revolutionary?" We nixed that word in an ad we were editing today. It really seemed overused to us and, if you have to say something is revolutionary, it probably isn't -- or you probably haven't kept up with your competition.

Thank you,
Lori Wilson

-----
From: "Des Walsh" (Australia)
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 17:22:50 +1000
To:
Subject: going forward

going forward

as in

we expect significant upside going forward

they mean

we want you to believe we are going to make a profit next year even though
you know we've been losing money hand over fist for the past two years

What ever happened to
in future
next year

and so on?


Des Walsh
The WebArts Company
Sydney, Australia
www.webarts.net.au

-----

[editor's note: lots of submissions from Down Under. we *love* the Aussies and Kiwis]

Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 14:05:22 +1000
To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
Subject: word watch

Folks

I'm at B. School in Australia and send a regular email out to friends with my fav. outrageous jargon...i won't bore you with the usual (leverage etc).

My favourite past time at the moment is trying to use B. School jargon in everyday language. It's a hoot.

Here's some from the hit list:

"water-involved" - the water-involved are people who either own a filtration device and/or drink bottled water, but are NOT happy with the quality.

"effort neutral" - someone who does no goddamn work in a B. School syndicate group

"focuses on own scope" - as above

"at the end of the day" - good lord I'm sick of hearing this hackneyed phrase

"white/gray space" - eg The premise underlying the development of xxxStrategy is that "white/gray" space exists in the market around the provision of xxx services to mass/mass affluent customers and that xxx has competitive advantages and greater reason to tackle the opportunity.
interpretation (i think)
white space - market is wide open
gray space - it sort of isn't

"optimal abandonment rate"

"timing difference" - this was actually said by an Australian chairman asking his CEO "whether there was reason for concern about company cash flow or whether it was just a timing difference."! That is are we going down or are you just "technically" insolvent...

Best regards
Nicole Williamson

"talking cock" - means using B. School jargon

[ed. note: also describes a person who uses b. school jargon]

-----

From: Tom Ziegler
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 11:43:05 -0500
Subject: From the Do not Eschew Obfuscation Department:

Buzzkillers,
I ran across this little gem while cruising the wires. I'm a writer for
Hoover's, which is a business information Web site. While I never get
pitches from pr twinks, I do have to navigate the goobbledy-gook of press
releases. Noticing the headline of the following release, I wondered just
what Avery Dennison does. A quick scan to the fourth paragraph revealed
that the company is "a global leader in pressure-sensitive technology and
innovative self-adhesive solutions for consumer products and label
materials."
You make stickers, you jerks.
Sincerely,
Tom Ziegler
Writer
Trade and Consumer
Hoover's Online

-----

From: "Guy Clapperton"
Date: Fri, 5 Jul 2002 17:18:49 +0100
To:
Subject: Submission

So I get this voicemail yesterday offering me some 'exclusive research' from Unisys. They're doing one to ones on Thursday and Friday. And they call back today.

Me: I'm confused, in what way is this exclusive if they're doing one to
ones?
They: Well, Unisys has commissioned this research (READS CORPORATE SPIEL WITH NO ATTENTION TO MY QUESTION).
Me: And 'exclusive'?
They: Well, (NAMES TWO TITLES) have it at the moment so it's under embargo until 8 June when they come out, and after that it's up for grabs.
Me: So in other words you're offering exclusive research, but basically it's exclusive to someone else...

And they still didn't understand why I might not be interested.

Regards
Guy Clapperton
www.clapperton.co.uk



-----

From: Chris Bell
Date: Mon, 24 Jun 2002 16:30:17 +1200
To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
Subject: Going forward

Greetings, Buzzkillers.

Do people over there say "going forward" when what they really mean is "at some unspecified time in the future"? I'm afraid New Zealanders appear to have picked it up from visiting US business people. It drives me nuts. Certain Martin Amis novels apart, time only moves in the one direction: Forward.

I thus nominate "going forward" for inclusion in the hallowed ranks of Buzz.

Chris Bell
Editor
MIS (Managing Information Strategies)
Fairfax Business Media
Newmarket
Auckland
New Zealand

-----

From: "Malecek, Chris"
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 08:06:28 -0500
To: "'teeth@buzzkiller.net'"
Subject: Monument to Mendacity

The news release from Qwest announcing Nacchio's demise. Wow. The quotes
from Joe are priceless. He's proud of all that he's accomplished (would
that be the 92% decline in the stock, the $26.6 billion in debt or the SEC
investigation into accounting practices?)

By the way, it probably wasn't Qwest that insist Joe maintain his residency
in New Jersey -- and I'll bet he wasn't flying home on United.
--
Joe Nacchio said, "I am proud of all that we have accomplished in bringing
Qwest to this point. After criss-crossing the globe for five and one-half
grueling years to build Qwest, living in two different cities, and having
achieved our major goals, I have expressed my desire to spend more time with
my family and pursue other opportunities."
Nacchio continued, "The company's fundamentals are strong and it will have
enormous opportunities in the period ahead as Qwest reduces debt and as the
regional economy recovers. Operationally, Qwest's local service results are
at record highs, long-distance approval is within reach and Qwest has the
infrastructure in place to serve its growing market share in enterprise
accounts and to offer long-distance in its region almost immediately after
approval. I look forward to assisting in the transition."

-----

From: "David Kleinman"
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 17:49:05 +0000
To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
Subject: Keeping it unreal

Oh, come now. At least half of the buzzwords used by publicists, hacks and
corporate flacks come from the de facto publicists, hacks and corporate
flacks who call themselves journalists. If you'd spend more time reading
something other than press releases, you'd know that it's the media itself
that has become a prime incubator for jargon and fluff. Just watch the
Washington press corps lob soft balls at the so called president after one
of his so called press conferences. Do something to help restore real
journalism - and the buzzwords will take care of themselves. This nitpick
aside, I find your site amusing, in an annoying sort of missing-the-point
sort of way.

-----

From: "Christopher Davis"
Date: Thu, 30 May 2002 16:55:36 -0400
To:
Subject: next level -- argh!!!

re buzzboard:
what about "next level"? argh!!! CD
posted by Red Worm 7/22/2002 05:55:24 PM

archives

Thursday, June 6

 
kill! kill!
posted by Red Worm 6/6/2002 08:32:51 AM

archives

Friday, May 24

 
Nice job on the blogs, you guys. really filling it up. yeah!
posted by Red Worm 5/24/2002 10:32:54 PM

archives

Friday, May 17

 
I think it's good.

Waxler, Woolley: start throwing some blogs up here.
posted by Red Worm 5/17/2002 04:46:29 PM

archives

Tuesday, May 14

 
We are lively-up on buzzkiller 2.0. This blog page is the final frontier.
posted by Red Worm 5/14/2002 04:57:36 PM

archives

Monday, May 13

 
We've had lots of new subscriptions in the last couple of weeks. Also lots of new submissions. Seems our site was mentioned in a newsletter whose name I'm trying to find right now. I'd like to give a little love back to them.

Our new site design looks a little bit like this blogger page here, except much cleaner, of course. Clarity is the goal.
posted by Red Worm 5/13/2002 04:15:44 PM

archives

Tuesday, February 5

 
Received this from a reader today:
"I swear this phrase appeared in a PowerPoint presentation that crossed my
screen today: 'cannibalize competitive adjacencies.' Personally, I think it's the 4th sign of the Apocalypse."
You can almost hear the hoof beats that preceded the screen. Anyone have any definition for -- or defense of -- "adjacencies"?

posted by eEZD 2/5/2002 03:10:44 PM

archives

Friday, January 25

 
Two interesting things we've learned after the latest release from Buzzkiller:
1) almost 20% of the our subscribers are no longer at their addresses or, more likely, have given up on e-mail and returned to carrier pigeons.
2) the misuse of the English language continues. We've gotten some nice new candidates for the buzzboard, so stay tuned.
posted by eEZD 1/25/2002 08:59:45 AM

archives

Wednesday, January 23

 
Man. Somebody must have dropped a big fat rohypnol tablet into our drink. Nine months since we updated this thing. You know what they say: still waters run deep. What the hell does that mean?

Well, it's back on. In a big way. We just put up an all-new page of unbridled sneering and cheap shots aimed at the users of buzzwords and silly marketing argot. Dig it.
posted by Red Worm 1/23/2002 09:57:06 PM

archives

Wednesday, April 25

 
Update on the CNN thing: turns out it was the real deal. Mark from Polyvision TV Watching*, an excellent fellow, has decided to lay that VHS tape on us free of charge. It was actually CNNfn, where someone from eTour (the guys who brought Mahir to America) went on and talked about us and a couple of other sites. Groovy. That's why we got all those emails at the end of March.
Thanks for the tape, Mark. The chances that we'll offer the streaming video of the show on our site are slim, due to the technical limitations of the team. Ah, well. At least we'll have some fine times sitting around the TV and watching it at buzzkiller HQ, once we get that thing built.

*The company hooked us up with the tape and then asked us to not use their name. Okay.

posted by Red Worm 4/25/2001 10:22:13 AM

archives

Monday, April 2

 
We received an email this morning alleging that buzzkiller.net had been featured on CNN on Friday and offering to send us the videotape for $187.50. A day-late April Fool's trick?:

> >> From: Mark@polyvisiontvw.com
> >> Reply-to: Mark@polyvisiontvw.com
> >> To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
> >> Subject: Segment on CNN
> >> Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 11:02:56 -0400
> >>
> >> Hello,
> >>
> >> On Friday, Buzzkiller.net was featured on CNN. Our company, Polyvision TV Watching*, is a nationwide monitoring service that offers video clips and digital delivery to companies that are featured on television. I would be happy to send you a professional copy of the segment on VHS tape and via digital delivery. The cost is $120.75 for a VHS copy, or $287.50 for VHS with digital delivery (RealPlayer) which I can have to you as soon as this afternoon.
> >>
> >> If this is of interest to you let me know, and I can simply bill you for what you need.
> >>
> >> Thank you,
> >>
> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> Mark

> >> Polyvision TV Watching*
> >> www.pvisiontvw.com

*Name of company changed in exchange for them hooking us up with the videotape. We were saddened that they feared being mentioned on our site, but we really wanted the tape.
posted by Red Worm 4/2/2001 06:23:35 PM

archives

Tuesday, February 13

 
The site was mysteriously mangled. eEzD raised the alarm. Our main page, buzzsaw.html, had somehow disappeared. So had this blogger page. Hmm. We'd suspect foul play, but we can't figure out who on earth would have a motive to mess with the site. We fixed it. Oh, yes, we're taking precautions. You betcha.
posted by Red Worm 2/13/2001 09:33:40 AM

archives

Thursday, February 8

 
[A-ha! This just in from "Steve Jones," the journalist who posted that ridiculous query to Prof Net on behalf of Vice Magazine. As suspected, "jones" was and agent provocateur, fishing for credulous buzzword-mongers -- and finding them.]

Date: Sun, 4 Feb 2001 02:02:06 -0500 (EST)
From: steve jones
To: redworm@buzzkiller.net
Subject: Vice Magazine ProfNet

Hello,

I just checked your site for the first time in a long while and I wanted to let you know that the ProfNet I sent for Vice magazine was indeed a load of hooey. I did it to see how many people would respond sincerely. In the end I only received two responses calling my bullshit, out of a total of roughly 20 responses. The rest were "legitimate" pitches.

I sent it for a story I was working on at the time, but never finished. If it ever makes the page, I'll be sure to let you know.

Best,
"Steve Jones"

[note: No wonder he abandoned the story. The obliviousness to buzz badness exhibited by 90% of his respondents would have been soul-crushing to anyone with an innate faith in human nature.]

posted by Red Worm 2/8/2001 10:14:22 AM

archives

Tuesday, January 23

 

[This stern rant astutely identifies buzzword abuse as the root of the recent tech sector meltdown]

Subject: You are not the only victims
To: teeth@buzzkiller.net
From: gordonrm@notes.cba.ufl.edu
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001 18:56:16

I would be less concerned than I am if the problems you identify were limited to incompetent flaks. After all, it's easy to ignore them, and, as most people do ignore them, they cause little harm.

Unfortunately, the problems have spread to the real world where real people try to raise real money and consume real assets that might otherwise be dedicated to something productive. These real people, many of whom otherwise are smart, waste their time producing business plans for start-ups that actually are based on useful, viable technologies but which go into the recycling pile because they tell us nothing meaningful about the technologies.

I don't know if this is because they view venture capitalists as Pavlovian-trained lemmings who respond best to buzz words or because they hire flaks to edit "marketing-oriented" business plans. Whatever the cause, the shame is that decent engineers with decent ideas that they could articulate reasonably well produce "polished" business plans that incite no interest.

Keep up the fun.
posted by Red Worm 1/23/2001 06:25:46 PM

archives

Thursday, December 14

 

{Just in: an observation or two from the Great White North, pointing the finger at the media.
I must agree that once a buzzword makes the jump from press release or marketing materials to editorial territory, all is lost. I think the leading vector of lexical infection must be analysts. Analysts and consultants.}
Dear Buzzkiller,
Just a few random observations on the rise of buzzwords:
Do you think Wired magazine should take any responsibility for the dramatic rise in buzzwords since the early-1990s? That Wired Style Guide--published by Wired's book publishing arm HardWired--couldn't have helped anyone. It argued that jargon is *good*. Should they be held responsible for reparations--say, bundling a copy of Strunk & White's Elements of Style 3rd Edition along with Wired Style?
The current crop of e-business magazines (Fast Company, Business 2.0, The Industry Standard, etc.) have mastered the editorial voice of the
knowledgeable insider--the same voice pioneered by pop culture mags decades ago. Since they have to appeal to their audience of under-35 "e-preneurs" (gag) and older VCs who should know better, do you think we'll ever see plain English within their pages? Is there a way to force these mags to grow up, say, forcing the editors to read their own back issues so they can see how trendy and silly they sound in retrospect? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Just sign me,
Nostalgic for English in Canada
posted by Red Worm 12/14/2000 04:27:15 PM

archives

Thursday, October 19

 
Here's a model pitch. It came from a real flack in NYC who surfs long Island and knows his way around the wheels of steel.
" You know of course mobile computing will enable end-users or early adapter road-warrior knowledge workers pervasive access to mission critical corporate data anywhere, anytime. Think about it - trade stocks and take a dump at the same time. Have sex with your wife and still track that shipping order to Singapore. Or email your wife with a wireless device that sends from your work email address while you have sex with your girlfriend."
Talk about making pitches relevant!

posted by Red Worm 10/19/2000 12:52:24 PM

archives

 
Having re-read the message below and having done a bit more investigating as to the nature of Vice Magazine, I believe that the message posted on ProfNet was a hoax, a trick, a trap. Therefore, this Steve Jones, if he exists, or his creator deserves props for tossing that spanner into the PR machine.

posted by Red Worm 10/19/2000 12:43:13 PM

archives

Tuesday, October 3

 
As has been pointed out in the past, we in the press are often just as guilty as flacks of perpetuating buzzwords. But what in the name of Hanuman, the monkey deity, was this reporter thinking when he posted this to ProfNet?:
> **4. E-TAILING AND VORTAL DEVELOPMENT - VICE MAGAZINE. For a special
> technology supplement, I would like to talk to leaders in the dot.com
> industry about the best-of-breed, turnkey b-to-b solutions providers using
> the ASP model to leverage end-to-end click-and-mortars for e-tailing and
> vortal development. Vice is a free monthly magazine circulated throughout
> North America and England in clothing stores, music stores, coffee shops and
> other businesses. Need leads by October 29. >>> Steve Jones
> [c::9/26:2825]
Before we flog our first brother, we need to find out if this is for real. Anyone respond to this request? Or was this some sort of desperate attempt to get noticed by the Saw? Let us know.
posted by eEZD 10/3/2000 10:18:04 AM

archives

Wednesday, September 27

 
I added a bran-spanky new buzz term to the Buzz Board today, bypassing the on-deck circle. The term is "architecting," a degenerate gerund derived from a non-existent verb.
posted by Red Worm 9/27/2000 03:21:18 PM

archives

Wednesday, August 30

 
Here, verbatim, is the subject line of an email received this morning: "Let's Talk Professional Services Supply Chain Apps.-- more specifically, Collections Management." Let's! What is it about subject lines that turns even the best PR professionals into buzzword-crazy hacks? Why not take a page from the NY Post, which today ran the headline "The Bride Wore Blues" over a story about newlyweds who left their gifts in the back of a cab? I'll read that.
posted by eEZD 8/30/2000 08:28:21 AM

archives

Tuesday, August 29

 
Just received this from a PR director at a major telco:
> Please add "end user" to your list of horrific buzz words!
> I've hated it for 20 years and I still hate it today.
> What, I ask, is wrong with the word "customer?"
> Or, God forbid, "person?"
>
> I recently had the joy of editing a release that used the phrase
> "successful end user experience." You have to wonder ...
> do people who write like that ever have sex?
> And if they do ... do they consider an orgasm a
> "successful end user experience?"

Excellent points. We hate to inject morality in to the Buzz Saw, but shouldn't phrases like that be left in the bedroom? Consider "end user" officially banned.
posted by eEZD 8/29/2000 08:02:47 AM

archives

Monday, August 28

 
As our consultants have told us many times, the Buzz Saw's core competency is in the thriving B2C buzzword space. However, when notified by one of our readers of a bizarre intraB buzzword, we couldn't help but post the letter. Read here to learn about the-soon-to-be-dreaded E>Tizing.
posted by eEZD 8/28/2000 06:44:40 AM

archives

Tuesday, August 22

 
Added a page that shows where the site has been written about. It is too okay to end a sentence in a preposition, isn't it, Fight Club?

Also, the historical debate over the origin of the phrase "open the kimono" continues.
posted by Red Worm 8/22/2000 08:00:06 PM

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Tuesday, August 15

 
Added a new love letter to the letters page.
posted by eEZD 8/15/2000 07:19:57 AM

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A follower has asked us to make "enterprise" a buzzword, noting, "It's a starship, not a way to define a product market."
Thoughts? send them to teeth@buzzkiller.net.
posted by eEZD 8/15/2000 07:04:00 AM

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Tuesday, August 8

 
A reader writes: "Thank you for including 'solution(s)' as a buzzword that desperately needs to die. When I recently received a letter that used the word eleven times in 1-1/2 pages of text, I wrote the company in return and reminded them that another definition of 'solution' is something that is diluted or watered down. I then asked them if they appreciated having their products looked upon from that perspective.
The press certainly tends to proliferate buzzwords. I go crazy when I hear a journalist use the word 'literally' when he really means 'figuratively', for instance, which seems to happen a lot....
I believe that many use buzzwords to try to sound trendy and smart, but to me, they sound derivative and redundant. Thank you again for pointing out these overused terms"

You're welcome.
posted by Red Worm 8/8/2000 02:45:02 PM

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The following exchange provides a glimpse into the byzantine workings of the Buzz Saw filter and the ideology behind those workings. Bonus: some positive feedback from the Buzz Saw for a change.

>> From: "Andrew Sprung"
>> Organization: Andrew Sprung Public Relations
>> Reply-To: "Andrew Sprung"
>> Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2000 14:55:26 -0400
>> To: "The Buzz Saw"
>> Subject: Re: Giants crowd into e-comm services for small biz
>>
>>I believe the buzz saw is applied indiscriminately.
>
>Mr. Sprung,
>This is a serious charge indeed. The Buzz Saw is governed by a
>set of hand-crafted operational instructions which cause it to
>detect buzzwords and react. Ruthless, perhaps, but not
>indiscriminate.
>When the graphics-bloated page finishes downloading, you will see
>a list of terms that the Buzz Saw is instructed to regard as
>undesirable. One of the words,"rob*st," appears in your
>"Giants crowd into..." email. Another term, "best of bre*d,"
>appears in your "100,000 e-stores..." email (props to you,
>however, for lively use of the words "festooned" and "jacked").
posted by Red Worm 8/8/2000 02:25:01 PM

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We can't help but reminisce about the time USA Today declared us a Hot New Site (see 8/7/00 post). Sadly, the paper has since moved on to newer, hotter sites, leaving us off the list. It's true what The Boss says: "Glory day, it'll pass you by."
However, while Buzzkiller.net is no longer considered hot by the nation's paper of record, it will forever remain lukewarm thanks to the Hot New Site archive.
posted by eEZD 8/8/2000 07:29:14 AM

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Monday, August 7

 
Just received this email: "Your web site is interesting - but would be more so if you offered alternatives for the words you so clearly hate -- jessica michaud, v.p. marketing and public relations, nex-i.com."
Jessica, we respectfully disagree: the purpose of buzzword eradication is not to replace one buzzword with another. However, in good faith, we offer this fix: Instead of "interactive," why not try "horse-drawn carriage"?
posted by eEZD 8/7/2000 06:11:14 PM

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Welcome to the Inner Saw: the place where we let you know what's new at the Buzz Saw. To day's big news: we've added this page. Also, we've been selected by USA Today as a Hot
New Site. The good fight continues.
posted by eEZD 8/7/2000 04:36:09 PM

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